so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize