I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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