If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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