I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She's the barista slut.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize