That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
