When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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