Non-Jews are for practice
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
