OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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