Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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