we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
