I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
