Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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