At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize