The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I don't want my vagina anymore.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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