After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
