oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
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Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
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After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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