the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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