Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
