i used baking grease as lip gloss
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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