But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
