Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
