You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I wish you could order shots online.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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