but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I AM VODKA MAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize