she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
