I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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