He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
