I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Randomize
