dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
