Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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