You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
