he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
