I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
