Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
