I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
