After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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