Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
