I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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