matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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