I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
