were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
