I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
