Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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