All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
