i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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