Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He better not be in your backpack
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
