What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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