; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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