Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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