please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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