i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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