We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
