Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
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All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
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True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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