Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
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