you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Holy sore nipples Batman
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
