I can't watch pbs sober anymore
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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