Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
