I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
