he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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