Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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