Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
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