i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
