so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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