I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
