I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize