just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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