Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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