I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
pray to the hookup gods
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
